When people ask us for help we usually slip into solutions mode. We are well-meaning and want to impart the benefit of our experience, creativity and charity.
But how do we know we’ve asked the right question? What’s the point of a list of ten brilliant solutions if we’ve asked the wrong question?
We tend to have more commitment to something that we feel we ‘own’ and asking questions that increasingly get to the nub of the underlying issue allows us to make progress without being disempowered. You know you’ve asked a great question from the body language of being caught off balance. The sharp intake of breath, the sideways upwards glance and the long pause.
We gain such fantastic clarity when we are given head space to explore OUR OWN answers to the best questions. The alternative is to be hit with the wisdom of someone who loves to solve other people’s problems because they are easier than their own.
Instead of looking for answers, try and ask the right questions. You’ll love the results. Here are some to try:
1. What result do you want?
2. What would a wise man/woman do?
3. What is holding you back?
4. What do you need to do next?
5. What is your blindspot?
6. What advice would an 80year old you give?
7. Who will you learn from?
8. When will you be satisfied?
9. When are you at your best?
10. What would make it ‘wow?’
We spend too much time searching for answers and not enough time searching for the right questions.